What really matters

Efficiency is a big deal to me. I tend to eat everything in front of me no matter how big the meal and probably reuse the plate for the next day or two. I often use only half a napkin and save the rest for later. I turn off lights when I leave rooms or even work. I run or walk very fast most of the time. You get the idea. I also try to fill every second of free time I've got.


I enjoy video games, tv shows, movies, music, and all the usual entertainments. As a child I always carried a book around so that I could read if I ever had a few seconds or minutes where I had to wait for something. Recently my smart phone has filled many of those seconds, though I find Angry Birds and Words with Friends less rewarding than books.

Despite all those entertainments they really are just time fillers. If I can have my druthers (I like that word, it's short for "would rathers") I'd be spending my time with friends. I'm not even picky about what we do. I'd rather knit scarves with friends than read my favorite book alone. Some of that is just opportunity cost. I mean, I can read anytime, but friends aren't always around. Still, I think it's more than that. I just don't find fulfillment in life when I'm alone.


I'm an existentialist. You might have guessed that if you understand the url name for this blog. I think life has no inherent meaning. Basically we are thrust into this mortal coil and guided only by instincts and emotions. I find meaning in minimizing my sadness and maximizing my happiness. Masturbatory activities just don't stimulate my emotions the way other people do. See what I did there?

Even my favorite books don't hold a candle to the interactions, insights, surprises, and reciprocated emotions of others. It saddens me that most people don't feel this way. This would be an incredibly social world if everyone wanted to go out 7 nights a week and enjoy the company of others all the time.


The main thing that scares me about growing old is losing friends. People stop being as social and turn inward. They lose much of their youthful vibrancy and energy. You fall in love, get married, have kids, and die socially. It doesn't have to be that way, but it usually is. I guess that's why I'm so sure that I want a family. Family comes to be the social world that replaces friendships and happy hours.

It's Friday night and nobody I know was interested in a happy hour today. Nor do I have Friday night plans. I just thought I'd ruminate on that publicly. Because blogging, unlike those personal entertainments, offers a chance at that human intermingling I so value.